On June 21, 2013 I was privileged to meet some very talented young authors at Brigham Young University. Click on Fan Art to see how they answered the question, “What would you draw on the bottom of a surfboard to chase away a shark?”
Later, after his parents were snoring, safe in their bed, Kona tiptoed back to his room and carefully placed the perfume bottle on his desk chair.
Nothing sweeter, he thought.
He double-checked his bedroom door, making sure it was closed.
No way I’m risking it.
To download the entire story, please click here.
Excerpted from Sniff by Lehua Parker. Copyright © 2013 by Lehua Parker. Excerpted by permission of Lehua Parker, LLC and Lauele Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher or author.
“Boiled cabbage, brussels sprouts, potatoes, beans, and onions. That’s it.”
“What?” Mom said, doing a double-take.
“Mom, you said you’d cook whatever I wanted.”
“Yeah, but trust me. You’re not going to like this.” She shook her head. “Nobody likes this!”
“But I have to eat this for dinner!”
“Why?” She cocked her head to the side.
“For, um, school. Extra credit. Teacher said.”
“Your teacher said if you ate boiled cabbage, brussels sprouts, potatoes, beans, and onions for dinner, she’ll give you extra credit?”
“Yeah, well, I gotta write a report on it after,” Kona grumbled.
Mom shook her head again. “Should’ve sent you to a private school. Maybe you can go to Ridgemont for seventh,” she muttered, opening the fridge and turning on the stove.
To download the entire story, please click here.
Excerpted from Sniff by Lehua Parker. Copyright © 2013 by Lehua Parker. Excerpted by permission of Lehua Parker, LLC and Lauele Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher or author.
There are moments in The Kona Shuffle where your eyes scan the words as fast as they can as your jaw hangs open catching flies. Esther and Tommy with the gun. The naked guy strapped to a chair and tortured with cheesy steel guitar music and a sunburn from hell. Gerald who wears plaid shorts in the Kona heat and speaks in a brogue because the father he never met is Scottish. I can’t even mention the whole fertility idol thing without cracking up because I remember those from Woolworth’s tourist souvenir selection as a kid.
Tom Bradley’s The Kona Shuffle is a screwball detective comedy about four identical backpacks that get mixed up during a hard landing at the Kona Airport. Of course none of the bags are carrying the typical tourist maps and sunscreen and all of the owners are highly motivated to get their bags back. As the bags are stolen, swapped, and misdirected, deals are stuck and double-crossed in hilarious situations. It’s up to private investigator Noelani B. Lee to figure it all out and ultimately decide who gets the goods.
There’s just the right balance between locals only inside jokes and a fast-paced action-packed narrative. Like a good plate lunch, there’s a little bit of everything here that satisfies. If you’re heading to Hawaii, it’s a great beach or plane read that guarantees you’ll be checking menus for loco mocos and paying a little more attention to your fanny pack in Waikiki.
Can’t wait for the next Noelani adventure, The Hilo Hustle.
The Kona Shuffle by Tom Bradley, Jr., is self-published and available as an ebook or trade paperback from Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Connect with Tom Bradley, Jr.
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TBradleywrites
Blog: http://headfirstintothedeepend.typepad.com/blog/
Shhhhhh, shhhhhhh, not settling, moving. A dry sound, like snakes, like sand, like crisp, dried leaves against a window screen.
Shhhhhh, shhhhhhh.
The bed’s dust ruffle ballooned, then lifted.
“What’s that?” croaked a voice dry like sawdust cookies, followed by a snuffling, sniffling sound, the sound of a hound on a trail or pigs tracking truffles.
Sniff.
“What’s that,” sniff, snuff, snort—now not dry, but slobbery, hot, greedy—“What is it? Smells,” sniff, “sweet, like flowers, like,” snuff, drool, drip, “like clean.”
Kona held his breath and jammed his hands deeper into his armpits.
Sniff.
Closer, hotter, heat against his cheek.
Sniff.
Greedy.
Kona puffed out his cheeks and blew with all his might.
“Ugh! Onion! Rotten, stinking!” rasped the voice.
Snort, wheeze, gasp.
“Rancid! Not flowers! Where flowers? Want flowers! Where’s that smell?”
Hissing, chaffing, breathing deep.
“Under? Is it under?” scratched the voice.
Snuffle, sniffle, puff, truffles beneath a tree.
“Smells under.”
The edge of the bed dipped. The covers pulled away from Kona’s neck.
It was now or never. Kona clenched his stomach muscles and let one rip.
Ppppttthhhhhhhttttt!
“Phew! Oh, oh, stinky, rotten, smelly, horrible, horrible, little boy!” The bed bounced back. “Oh, woe, woe is me.” The voice a child’s whimper, the sound of a birthday present taken back, a rotted piece of maggot cake, no candles left to light.
In the dark and through his terror, Kona grinned.
A sound like sea wash kissing sand, a moving sound, shifting away from the bed, low toward the floor.
Sniff.
“What’s that?”
Snuff, puff, gasp.
“Smells like sugar and mangos and sunlight. Mine!”
Kona heard the mango cobbler pan thud on the floor, then a terrible licking sound, a greedy slurping sound, a sound made by a too long tongue.
As the pan disappeared under the bed, Kona let a last one rip, just to be sure.
There was only a little bit of mango cobbler left, he thought, but enough in the pan for tonight.
Kona glanced at his bedroom door to make sure it was still shut tight, and, tucking the covers snug around his neck, he drifted back to sleep.
To download the entire story, please click here.
Excerpted from Sniff by Lehua Parker. Copyright © 2013 by Lehua Parker. Excerpted by permission of Lehua Parker, LLC and Lauele Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher or author.
