I took a shower all by myself today. Usually, the best you could say about that is how boring and the worst congratulations, did you feed yourself, too?
Well, yeah, I did, but that’s another blog post.
Life lately has been full of small victories and accomplishments that on the surface don’t look like much. When you’ve got a foot in a cast that you can’t put any weight on and are congenitally crutch-challenged, things like stairs and showers and cooking a meal feel like summiting Mt. Everest, swimming the Atlantic, and feeding the 5,000 with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread. You know it can be done—you even remember doing it, but the complications of managing too many things with too few hands and keeping track of things that can get wet vs. things that can’t become like solving a physics problem.
And I never liked math.
Yeah, I knew about the surgery a month before it happened and prepared for all the anticipated things, but of course, it’s what you don’t expect that bites you in the butt. Along with stocking the fridge, I should’ve headed to the gym and built up muscles in arms, shoulders, and gut. I should’ve practiced standing on one leg while the dogs and cats swarmed underfoot. But one thing I did get right was preparing for showers.
Here’re my tips to make bathing with a cast easier.
Waterproofing
This is genius and will work for any cast you can get a garbage bag over. You will need:
Put the bag over the cast and fold it tight against the skin, getting most of the air out. Take the plastic wrap and wrap the edge of the kitchen bag against the skin several times. Make sure you’ve stretched it tightly enough that it creates a waterproof seal. The best part? After the shower you can simply lift the self-sealed edge, unwind it, and reuse the bag.
The Chair
If you can’t stand on both legs, having a place to sit makes it much easier to manage soap and water. A snazzy official chair like this one is really cool, but any water safe seat—like a kitchen step stair—will work, too.
The Nozzle
A hand sprayer is not absolutely necessary, but it does help with getting shampoo out of hair and soap out of all the crevasses. Several years ago we installed a combination hand and wall mount shower in the guest bathroom so we could more easily bathe the dogs. My husband handily swapped it out for the one in our master bath. If this isn’t an option, have a small bowl or big cup handy to fill and strategically splash.
It all sounds silly, I know, but never underestimate the healing power of good salt scrub and freshly shampooed hair. Guaranteed to wake the dead.
Days since heel surgery: 7
Days drug free: 2
Days attention span longer than a goldfish: 2
Books read: 0
Books started: 4
Chapters written: 0
Attempts at writing chapters: 733
Random checks of Facebook and Twitter: 2587
Catan/Candy Crush/Carcassonne games played on iPad: 7256
New York Times crossword puzzles solved: 5
History documentaries watched: 41
Movies watched: 1
Movies started: 15
Real Diet Cokes drunk: 1
Days family filled sippy cup with caffine-free Diet Coke and lied: 6
Ice packs filled: 47
Max number of pillows propping leg: 9
Number of times knee scooter needed but being used by kids doing wheelies: 13
Times ran over own toes with scooter: 5
Falls with crutches: 2
Attempts with crutches: 3
Days to walking cast and being able to sit at desk: 21
So how do you use a laptop when you can’t sit at a table and don’t have a lap?
That’s my most pressing problem right now with my right foot in a cast and needing to be propped higher than my heart. The ice bag takes up what little room I have between my gut and knee and reclining half on my back and leaning on an elbow, I’m at a loss at how to balance the computer and type at the same time. Cocooned in a pillow nest, I’m tired of taping out one letter at a time on an iPad. Serious writing needs ten fingers.
It’s my fault for always writing at a desk with a chair and keyboard and two big monitors in a room where I can shut the door. Like a jock with lucky socks, I’ve trained myself to think that it’s all about the quiet room and the ability to use a mouse. Writing on the living room couch is a cramped affair filled with scraps of other people’s conversations and too loud music.
Adapt or die. Right now death is winning.
Being cooped up the past two days has built up a torrent of words and ideas that want to pour like water over a cliff, but they will have to wait until my foot no longer needs elevation and ice or I master some new yoga poses.
It’s going to be a long two months.
Hau’oli Makahiki Hou(how-oh-lee mah-kah-he-key ho)
Hawaiian phrase. In Hawaii people say Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou when they wish someone a Happy New Year. It’s a direct translation from the English: hau‘oli means “happy” or “glad,” hou means “new” or “fresh,” and makahiki is easily translated into “year, age; annual.” Like most English adoptions into Hawaiian it works in a Spanglish sort of way.
But anciently makahiki referred to a season that began around mid-October and lasted four lunar months. During this time there was feasting, religious observances and ceremonies, games, sports, dancing, a respite from work, and a kapu on war. It was a time of peace and prosperity in honor of the god Lono.
May you and your ‘ohana enjoy the aloha of the makahaki season all year long.
Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou!
Example
English: Happy New Year!
Pidgin: Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou!
Note: ‘Ōlelo is a Hawaiian word meaning language, speech, word, etc. To see the current list of Hawaiian and Pidgin words, definitions, and usage please click on
(mel-lee kah-lee-kee-mah-kah)
(Phrase) Hawaiian for Merry Christmas.
Example
Aunty Lehua wishes you and yours Mele Kalikimaka this holiday season!
Note: ‘Ōlelo is a Hawaiian word meaning language, speech, word, etc. To see the current list of Hawaiian and Pidgin words, definitions, and usage please click on